This 9 month programme is the only course of its kind that offers such an in-depth study of the field of emotional intelligence, along with personal EI development. The next programme is commencing in January 2006. For a prospectus or for an informal chat, please contact Amanda Knight at the CAEI on 01452 741106 or amanda@appliedei.co.uk

People from both client organisations and self-employed trainers and consultants participate in this programme. To give you a flavour, here’s an account from Shane O’Byrne, one of our last year students, who at the time was undertaking a career-change to become a Life Coach.

My fascination is with people. Every aspect of their personas, characteristics, habits, actions, drivers and motivators. I decided I wanted to learn about people, and to unlock the potential of as many people as I can – given my passion for travelling - throughout the world. In doing so, and in the immortal words of the would-be Miss World contestant “I wanted to make the world a better place!”

The elation at having identified my purpose subsided; my next task was to set about putting in place a strategy to get from where I was to where I wanted to be.

I researched the various courses that I could undertake to make me a technically profound Life Coach. I was looking for more of an emotions based set of principles on which to base my coaching. To get to the core beliefs and values held by the individual, to stimulate and encourage ‘real’, lasting change!

Explaining my predicament and where I wanted to go to Amanda Knight, she described the format and principles of Emotional Intelligence – I realized that this was the ideal first step, and my place on the CAEI was decided!


I had a general idea of what I wanted out of the course, as well as specific questions concerning just how I would go about putting my new career into practice.

I was looking to;

	Firm up on my initial plan by developing a full understanding of the principles of EI on which my Coaching ‘model’ was to be based.
	Utilise the Action Learning Project to establish a Coaching ‘model’ (to build on) from which to commence my career as a Life Coach.
	Further develop my own level of Emotional Intelligence to allow me to realise my own potential.
	…and to help other develop theirs.

The course begins… the Own Situation Analysis
The pre-course notes had requested that each individual student compile an original Own Situation Analysis (OSA) giving a taste of the individual themselves, what made them tick and what had brought them to the CAEI. For me this was a cathartic moment.

I had been detailing my feelings and emotions in notebooks for about 10 years. The compilation of the OSA gave me the opportunity to review not only those notes but also to reflect on the experiences and pivotal moments in my life, put them in order, make sense of them, take from them the lessons and learning’s and, most importantly, resign them to the past! To be replaced by the newly devised me!

Next up was the Action Learning Project…
Within the context of my career development, the Action Learning Project (ALP) was an amazing learning experience. My choice of project enabled me to commence the actual art of coaching, which in turn gave me the confidence to know that I have the skills (both personality wise and academically) to develop this into a full time career.

It also enabled me to gauge feedback on my coaching style to enable ongoing style development as well as identifying those areas that I need to develop further (i.e. listening skills/active listening).

Next, it was time to start logging my feelings and emotions and relevant points in the Life/Learning Log:

As I say, I had been logging my own thoughts and feelings for years, but the formal requirement to do so proved somewhat of a stumbling block!

I have in the past written to vent and to review my own development but here I was being asked to be specific, to make these feelings available to others and worst of all – to be legible!

Once I analysed and re-visited my EI questionnaire feedback (from the second module) and how I felt about sharing my feelings, emotions and thought with others I decided there was actually nothing holding me back and that the formalising of the notes was the problem - so I repackaged this as ‘more of the same’ and hey presto the pen began to move.

The next requirement was to establish our set groups and to establish a regular schedule of meetings in order to exchange ideas, views, feelings and emotions So, having concluded the first module we, as a group went about dividing ourselves geographically, into two set groups, to act as support mechanism for our EI development in general, and our ALP’s specifically.

Our own group experienced immediate difficulties in meeting up. When we were able to synchronise diaries, I (personally) felt that the meeting/s was/were a higher priority for myself - given my requirements from the course (total career change) - than other members of the group.

Whilst I wholeheartedly supported (what I saw as) the differing motivations of my team members I subsequently felt it necessary to set about addressing a clear agenda of points that I sought answers for, and which would enable me to progress my own project and my own development.

Whilst I made myself available for other members of the team wherever necessary I also set about reconstructing set groups meetings that I felt would benefit. These, as it transpired tended to be with individual members of both groups as well as Amanda.

The next stage was to set about devouring the reading list. With this in mind, and given the fact the absence of specific set group meetings had left me with a comprehensive reading list which needed to be at least referenced, I specifically targeted titles and authors for the specific information I required as I went along, supplementing this by tapping up the rest of the group for the necessary information and insights.

So what did I get out of the CAEI?
From a career perspective I am now developing the Coaching process constructed within my Action Learning Project, into a complete 'Personal Development Training' programme based on the fundamentals of EI. The intention being to use this model to address the complete need of the individual - including the tangible elements listed in the Action Skills Analysis presentation as well as the underlying reasons why the individual requires 'coaching' - which can be applied in the 'real world', and to utilise all that I learnt from the course to underpin my new career as a Life Coach.

The future - As an individual I am now, quite simply looking for more of the same - that is to say more activities and experiences that will enable me to find out more and more about myself, my own potential and how to realise it, and more and more about other and theirs.

Insights – on a personal note
As I have already mentioned, not to put too fine a point on it, the course in itself was a life-changing period for me; To be fair my natural tendency for growth had been bringing pieces of my life ‘together’ ever since I became aware that there was more to life than I had been experiencing, (some 10 years ago) however, this period of time and education enabled me to put the pieces together. The combination of putting a structure to my life thus far, and a direction for my life ahead left me feeling happier than I have ever felt.

On a more specific level, what the CAEI has given me is a toolbox to continue developing my life in ways, and at a rate I wasn’t aware possible when I joined the ‘team’, back in November 2003.

Participants from the Certificate in Applied Emotional Intelligence 2003-04
Top row, left to right: Maureen Bowes, David Exeter, Shane O'Byrne, Janita Bagshawe, Dan Richards, Eddy Young
Bottom row: Richard Harvey, Amanda Knight, Sarah Campbell, Jo Maddocks, Tim Sparrow

© Shane O’Byrne 2005
Centre for Applied Emotional Intelligence

Over the last few issues of AppliedEI we’ve been reinforcing the case for attitudes as a foundation for emotional intelligence.

But what do we mean exactly by the term ‘attitude’?

An attitude is defined in Longman’s dictionary as “A feeling, emotion, or mental position with regard to a fact or state.”

These feeling positions are adopted in response to what we think or believe, and affect how we behave, so attitudes are also defined in ‘Work Psychology – Understanding Human Behaviour in the Workplace’ (1998) by John Arnold, Cary Cooper, Ivan Robertson as:

“… a person’s predisposition to think, feel or behave in certain ways towards certain defined targets.”

We have different attitudes towards different things. For example, we have an attitude towards any organisation that we work with. We will also have an attitude about a new idea or concept that is presented to us, eg. what is your attitude towards the concept of emotional intelligence? What do you think about EI, and how do you feel about it?

We also have an attitude, or a collection of attitudes towards ourselves.

So to work out what our attitude is towards something, we need to identify what thoughts we have associated with it (ie. our beliefs), and how we feel about it (our physiological, emotional or intuitive response). This will raise our awareness of how we are likely to be behaving towards it (the outcome).

We can then choose to change this attitude if it no longer serves us. We can change our beliefs (our personal opinion of how something is) by updating our perceptions about it with new up-to-date information, rather than recycling old limiting views.

We can also change how we feel about something.

We know from PNI (the science of Psychoneuroimmunology) that our feelings originate in response to perceptions and information processed in our Limbic System, the emotional brain. This part of the brain is in constant 2-way communication with every other system within the body – from the Cortex (cognitive mind), to our Autonomic Nervous System (where our fight/flight and stress responses play out), to our Immune System (our health defences), and to our Endocrine System (our hormones). These communications are vital in understanding our stress responses and the impact of our emotions on our health, so we will be exploring this area more in subsequent issues of the ezine.

Since our feeling patterns may become fixed and outdated, it is important that we are aware of them and able to test whether they are applicable to current situations, and if not, to update them. Just trying to change behaviours without changing the underlying feeling patterns, or the perceptions on which they are based, will not facilitate sustainable personal change.

So this brings us full circle to the CAEI definition of emotional intelligence:

“Emotional intelligence integrates
Feeling, Thinking and Doing.

Emotional intelligence is the practice
of using Thinking about Feeling,
and Feeling about Thinking, when choosing what to Do.”

And this is why our emotional intelligence is about attitudes, and therefore why it is changeable and developable in everyone. We really can do something about it, with the right approach.


Fundamental ‘predispositions’

To help us identify our predispositions towards people (including ourselves) in particular, here are two fundamental emotionally intelligent attitudes required of a highly emotionally intelligent person.

The most fundamental attitude that we have is about ourself. A healthy positive attitude toward oneself is:

“I value and accept myself as I am – warts and all!”

This is a positive attitude because it is an evaluative position towards something – in this case me – as a conscious choice based on an integration of my thinking and feeling. It is an attitude towards my being, and does not preclude my wanting to change my patterns of behaviour. In Transactional Analysis (TA) this is known as the ‘I’m OK’ position. It is the position of non-judgment of Self.

Coming from this positive attitude towards our own Self enables us to have a healthy positive attitude about everyone else:

“I accept and value you as you are – even though you may be very different from me.”

This is an attitude because it is an evaluative feeling position towards something, in this case another person. It is an attitude towards your being, and does not mean I cannot evaluate, dislike, or criticise what you do. In TA this is known as the ‘You’re OK’ position, and is the position of non-judgment of others.

The other fundamental attitudes which underlie an emotionally intelligent approach are those stemming from the statements of belief enshrined in the 8 Principles of Emotional Intelligence that Tim Sparrow explores in each issue of this ezine.

Attitudes and Performance

Attitudes, again as we have seen in Tim’s articles previously, are one of the key determinants of performance. The KASH model explains this clearly – to perform at our optimum we need to have:

Knowledge (the cognitive know-how)
Attitudes (integrated positive thinking and feeling)
Skills (the competencies)
Habits (consistency in our behaviours)

For example, let’s take a look at what it means to be a transformational leader. A good leader will have the knowledge and skills to lead effectively, and will be consistent in their behaviour and performance. To become a transformational leader however, that leader needs to come from a position of unconditional acceptance and valuing of both Self and others, in order to facilitate transformational change. Transformational leadership demands the emotionally intelligent attitudes of ‘I’m OK’, and ‘You’re OK’.


Organisational Attitude

Whilst attitudes are held by individuals, often groups of individuals will share attitudes, and these constitute group or organisational norms. An organisation’s culture has been described as ‘the way we do things around here’, and that will be determined by “the attitudes that we have around here”.

How employees think and feel about their organisation, and therefore how they choose to behave, is to a large extent a response to the way they perceive they are treated by the organisation. A key responsibility therefore lies with senior management to demonstrate the attitudes that they demand of their staff, in other words, high regard for self and for others, and all that goes with the I’m OK, You’re OK position. Richard Harvey explored the impact of leadership on organisational change in his article, Facilitating Organisational Change, in last month’s issue.

To create a culture of high performance within an organisation, not only does that organisation need to have the necessary knowledge and skills to perform effectively, but also the positive attitudes and habits that will facilitate achievement.

We will be exploring more about how an organisation’s leadership is fundamental to this equation in our January issue.

© Amanda Knight
CAEI 2005

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Principle No. 7
Change is possible (including change of ourselves).

There are limits to this principle, though how many you think there are will depend on where you stand on the heredity vs. environment issue. Things which are purely hereditary are probably not changeable: if you were born introvert, you will probably remain introverted till the day you die. But that does not mean that you cannot learn to manage your introversion (or extroversion, as the case may be) and alter your behaviour. Born introverts, for example, for whom it can be quite stressful, can become excellent trainers if they set their mind on it. This is a principle which, like Number 1, people are reluctant to accept, and generate many cop-outs to escape from. And for the same reason: if you deny this principle it gets you off the hook of responsibility – you just can’t help it, because you can’t change. Hence: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” “The leopard can’t change his spots”, and so on.
And people sometimes say quite smugly “Well, that’s the way I am”, and you are then supposed to like it or lump it, as if they didn’t have a choice to act differently if they wanted to.

© Tim Sparrow 2005
Centre for Applied Emotional Intelligence

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David brings a refreshingly different perspective on applied emotional intelligence to the CAEI Steering Group, based on his 22-years’ service as a Training Officer in the Royal Air Force. Much of his long service career has been spent on the development and delivery of training programmes exploiting both the latest techniques in the psychology of learning and the best ideas from a broad field of thinkers in leadership theory.

“Having just finished a course in psychology, I picked up on EI and became immediately interested. I started reading about EI, starting like most people with Goleman’s books. My research led me to the CAEI and joined the Certificate course in 2003. EI had real resonance for me both personally and as a trainer. EI provided an insightful explanation for so much of human behaviour, both as an individual and in organisations but more importantly, provided a framework for personal development. The CAEI’s approach and model was practical and easy to understand, yet powerful and underpinned by well-established concepts such as TA. I believe there is an ethical dimension to leadership and relationships in general which is often ignored or avoided. Such omission leads to flawed decision making and serious breakdowns in relationships with potentially damaging consequences. In a military context, the consequences can mean life or death. My experience of EI training is that it gets you thinking and feeling about your behaviour in a different way, which facilitates better relationships and enhances your performance at work.

Initially, I met a fair amount of resistance to the concept of EI in the military. The RAF is a progressive organisation and its training is world class, but like any large institution, entrenched ideas can take some changing. However, in the last year or so, even I have been surprised by the level of acceptance and enthusiasm for EI, especially in leadership training and development.

My ambition for the CAEI is to take the EI message to the widest possible audience and in particular to engage with leaders and senior managers in all types of organisations”.

David lives with Sarah and their 2 daughters in Gloucestershire. His other interests include music, travel and photography. He is a Chartered Member of the CIPD.

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How many emails do you send in a day, a week, a month? Tens, hundreds? And how often are you thinking of the other person or people with each email that you send? In our busy lifestyles it’s all too easy to know what we mean in an email, to be aware of our intention behind the words, but then for the email to be misinterpreted because it is communicating just that - the words - often without tone and always without our non-verbal communication.

How our words are interpreted in an email may depend on many factors – how busy the reader is, the person’s mood, health and well-being, her/his relationship with us. And of course, how it is worded. There are at least seven different meanings to each of the sentences below depending on where you place the emphasis.

I didn’t tell John you were angry.
You think she’s the best for the job.

It can really pay off in time, energy and emotion to consider the receiver(s) of our emails. Before we click Send, read it as if we are the person receiving it. Minimally, double check that the content is factual, courteous and without ambiguity. Make sure it says what you mean. What impact do you want it to have?

And if the content is sensitive, re-consider whether email is the appropriate method of communication. Put yourself in the receiver’s shoes. Would you like to receive that email? Face to face, if possible, is more likely to be the better option.

Lastly, don’t forget that punctuation can affect our meaning too. The following sentence requires two commas, but where they are positioned dramatically affects the meaning!


A woman without her man is nothing.

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Centre for Applied Emotional Intelligence
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Tel: 01452 741106 Fax: 01452 741520
Email: info@appliedei.co.uk
Web: www.emotionalintelligence.co.uk

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