In the first article of this series we saw that Self Regard ( Scale 1) is the fundamental prerequisite for being emotionally intelligent; in this article we shall see that Self Awareness is the most fundamental element in the process itself.

The four part model of the processes of emotional intelligence shows the causal arrows starting from Self Awareness: everything else derives from and depends on that.

Consequently it is of fundamental importance to understand what self awareness is, and to do what we can to enhance our own.

What Scale 3 measures is defined as the extent to which you are in touch with your body, your feelings and your intuitions. The key word here is “body”, and why it is key becomes clear when we consider the definitions of the other words, “feelings” and ”intuitions”.

Contrary to a commonly accepted view, we see feelings as being not merely brain events mediated by neurones, but bodily states mediated largely by hormones. Hence in English we have phrases such as “hot under the collar” and “having cold feet”: These are literally descriptions of bodily states, but they are used to describe the emotions of anger and fear. It may be helpful here to clarify the relationship between the concepts of “feeling” and “emotion”. As we see it, all emotions are feelings (bodily states), but some feelings, such as hunger, thirst or tiredness, are not emotions.

Similarly, we see “intuitions” as referring to those things which we know non-cognitively, through other parts of our body and not just through our brains. Hence synonyms such as “gut feeling”. It is a common assumption that women “are” somehow more intuitive than men, but we see no evidence that this is inherently the case. What does seem to be true is that men grow up generally to be more thinking-oriented and less body-oriented than women. The information from non-cognitive sources is potentially available to both men and women, but men are less likely than women to pay attention to it. Intuitiveness appears to be largely a phenomenon of differential attention (and therefore relatively easy to develop).

The quintessential thing about self awareness, therefore, is that it is based in body awareness. Related to this is another essential aspect of self awareness: it is of the moment, transitory, ever-changing. Our bodily state shifts from instant to instant and to be self aware we need constantly to be monitoring our body to detect any significant changes containing information which we need to factor into our decision making. This does not mean that the monitoring must be formal and conscious, though those of us who are low in self awareness may need to go through a stage of doing it on a formal, regular, conscious basis in order to enhance our capacity for self awareness. But, as is general with this type of developmental change, conscious competence will give way to unconscious competence. Those who are high in self awareness are continuously if unconsciously open and alert to significant changes in their bodily state and the information these contain.

One consequence of the momentary nature of self awareness is that it needs to be distinguished from the related concept of self knowledge, with which it is often confused. The connection between them is that self knowledge is the long term corollary of self awareness. Self knowledge involves knowing our patterns, how we tend to respond and behave in general terms. For example, it is part of Tim’s self knowledge that when he gets dehydrated he tends to get irritable and the quality of his thinking deteriorates. The analogous bit of self awareness is whether at any particular moment he is aware of his level of hydration, and if it is too low whether he is in touch with his thirst, thus allowing him to self manage by having something to drink. The general connection between the two is that self awareness over a series of moments is converted into long-term self knowledge by the process of reflective learning, as we shall see when we get to reviewing Scale 17.

If you are familiar with Transactional Analysis (TA), it may help to remember that the body is in a sense the expression of the Child ego-state. Being in touch with your body, being highly self aware, therefore translates in TA terms into having good communication between your Adult and your Child. Since the TA corollary of being emotionally intelligent is being in Integrated Adult (the “Integrated” bit meaning integration between Parent, Adult and Child), it is no wonder that Self Awareness, or bodily awareness, is so fundamental to emotional intelligence.

So much for what self awareness is. How do we set about enhancing it? As we have previously seen, Self Awareness is highly dependent on Self Regard – if you are secure in your ‘OKness’, you can afford to be aware of whatever you are feeling, without your value being threatened. However if your ‘OKness’ is dependent on you being and feeling a certain way, and so you judge the acceptability of what you feel, you will soon impair your capacity to perceive it – judgement is the enemy of perception and understanding.

Just as self awareness is dependent on self regard, so in its turn, self awareness is required to behave with emotional intelligence in various ways (as measured by other scales) because self management is dependent on self awareness. We shall mention this as we come to discuss the other scales.

As we have already hinted, enhancing your self awareness is largely a matter of attention, of enhancing the attention which you pay to your bodily states and the information they give you. We have noticed that those of our colleagues who are mountain climbers tend to be wonderfully self aware, and of course this makes perfect sense. In climbing, knowing accurately what each part of your body is doing and what it can and can’t do at any particular moment may be a matter of life and death.

More generally, one route to enhanced self awareness would be to take up or to develop a physical activity which requires high bodily awareness, whether a sport like climbing, Tai Chi, a form of dance or circus skills.

Less time-consuming, and demanding, is to get into the habit, say every half hour or so, of shutting your eyes, “going internal” and travelling round your body with your attention. Notice what is going on, what feelings you have where, and if anything significant turns up, work out what the meaning of this may be in emotional terms. Then think (a) what you would like to do about it if you were under no practical constraints, and (b) what you will do about it given the practical constraints. (The last part of this suggestion moves, inevitably, from self-awareness to self management.)

And here’s a suggestion for developing your intuition. When you have a decision to make:

1.	After you have worked out in your head what is logically the best thing to do and before you commit yourself, pause.
2.	Check out with your gut and the rest of your body whether it really seems the best thing to all of you.
3.	Do you want to do it? If different parts of you (brain vs. gut, Adult vs Child) give different answers, conduct a debate between them until you arrive at a compromise solution that all bits of you can live with.

Next month we shall move on to the interpersonal corollary of self awareness: Scale 4 Awareness of Others.

© Tim Sparrow (Centre for Applied Emotional Intelligence) and Jo Maddocks (JCA)

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EI Development from the CAEI

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Individual-oriented – because each person’s EI development needs are different
Developmental – starting with an assessment and continuing with supported development
About attitudes – developing emotionally intelligent attitudes and habits that lead to effective self and relationship management
Over time – to sustain the changes in attitudes and habits over the long term
Ethical – provided by qualified practitioners who have developed their own EI

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